wednesday june 18th

last monday, i spoke with david about CBT, and he said to go ahead and make a list of everything that made me feel good that day. i didn't do it on monday or tuesday, because usually i would do this sort of thing at night, and i stayed up with chris both nights. on monday night i woke up at 12:45 am on the mich house couch and realized both chris and i had fallen asleep watching futurama for about an hour. on tuesday night, mikey and chris came over and started watching a movie. mikee stopped it when he realized that both chris and i were asleep.

but today i am all alone here, and feeling a little bit depressed. pyschoanalysis: i think i am depressed because i have anxiety about my future and my past. i feel lonely and want sarah around (past), and i especially am worried about having a career and getting a job in this very difficult job market (future). it seems to be the same shit everyday.

cbt is about living in the moment according to david M: things that went well today.
i had a really nice breakfast yesterday morning-- a fried potato, a 5 white/2 yolk omlette, and a granny smith apple. this time, i slept in and didn't do so well. i had a lamb shank with pasta for breakfast. decadent! i had coffee and it didn't give me heartburn. yahoo! i read the op/ed with thomas friedman, maureen dowd (sucked), the banana guy that seems to be telling this banana story that crops up on NPR, slate.com, and now the NYT. I practiced a lot of piano. adam was there and he gave me a great technique for triplets/8th notes: 1-trip-a-let-2-trip-a-let ect. i actually do not understand where the whole day went... volunteering went mostly well although mary henson was in a major funk. i said to shana "that's a nice rack" by accident. i finished the work with jo-anns letter request. i have to get back into the flow with myr and Dr. Lerner. i also got to see kris which was good, although kind of boring. brandon seems to think he could get me a job at NSF. i should really suck up to them so that that can work out (although i like brandon a lot and he seems way cooler than when i first met him because i think he is more like kris now haha!) oh yeah, the moon was very nice today, and it was mild and not stuffy warm. the guineaus must have been happy today. i think that's it